As I write this post, I am attempting to keep up with the schedule that I was maintaining during my time away from work…but it’s hard! I’m back to waking up early and actually getting ready for work. My mornings are still a bit slow and I have to just jump right into my routine–ready or not! I’m back to feeling as if there aren’t enough hours in the day, but I need more hours because especially on a day like yesterday, there’s just so much to do! I’m forcefully reminded of the status of my health, yet again, and trying to maintain all positivity in order to make it through the day.
Rereading that first paragraph, it sounds as if I am discouraged by my realty, but I’m actually experiencing a different kind of feeling. It is a feeling of acceptance! I know, weird right?! I have accepted the discomfort. I have accepted not being able to have complete control and getting everything done when I want to. I’ve accepted that my 5-year plan is no longer set in stone and ultimately, needs some tweaking. I’m rolling with the punches and seeing where things go….and I’m okay with that!
In feeling acceptance, I’ve been even more at ease with the realization that God has shaken my world. Sometimes we become so fixated on the things that we’ve planned and what we want to happen in our lives, that we miss out on amazing opportunities for growth! Taking time for self-care after my hospitalization was the last thing that I wanted to do–it wasn’t in my plans…but I have to admit that since making that decision, so many doors have opened for me! I’ve met many beautiful people, had the time to further invest in my personal relationships, and have developed the will to try new things that I may not have been open to in the past! While this time is certainly giving me some discomfort, having my “type A” life shaken is also a bit exciting. I look forward with anticipation for what and who will come my way in the years to come, as well as how these experiences further develop me as a person.
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