I Doubt it…

Good Evening everyone! Wow, it’s been a while! Each time I take a moment to begin a post, I get distracted by one of the many responsibilities that exist in my life right now and fail to continue. This is one that I started approximately one year ago, and although an entire year has gone by, the message still holds such great value!

At the time of this original post, I’d been going through so many changes. It’s now a whole year later and I can honestly say that my life hasn’t gotten any easier…I’m still going through a period of transition…but I have to admit that I’m enjoying it! There has been so much that has occurred in my life over the past year, and despite the challenges that I’ve faced, I feel remarkably blessed to be where I am and to have the opportunity to develop into an even better and stronger woman!

One way that I’ve gotten stronger is in my ability to boldly pursue visions and dreams that have been placed on my heart. Does anyone else set personal 5 or 10-year goals for themselves, with hopes of one day achieving them, but when those 5 or 10 years go by, you doubt your ability to actually achieve those goals? Well, I decided to take a leap of faith and apply to go back to Grad school (for a second time) over a year ago. I wanted to pursue my “21-year old Joe” dream of being a principal. Not only did I decide to go back to school, but I decided to apply to Teachers College, Columbia University (I was ambitious). During the wait time, I was driving myself absolutely INSANE wondering whether or not I got into the program. Wondering whether or not I was good enough to be accepted. Wondering whether or not I would actually be successful in school. Whether or not I was even prepared to take on the responsibility of being a leader. There was also constant doubt on whether or not I was physically capable of taking on the extensive workload.

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In spite of the reassuring words that I received from those in my circle, I constantly doubted myself and my capabilities. I constantly allowed this walk with Lupus to drive thoughts of negativity and self-doubt. I know I can’t be alone here.

It Is remarkably easy to allow self-doubt to take root in your mind and deter you from pursuing that which you set out to do. This current post is a blessing, but it’s also an example of me procrastinating. I should actually be finishing up my resource allocation paper for the same leadership program that I originally thought I was not good enough to be accepted into. I am in that same program that I thought I wasn’t qualified enough for and graduating with a second masters degree in July!

I’m so happy that I stumbled upon my blog and fell in love again with the opportunity to bless someone by sharing my truth, all while reminding myself of how far I’ve come. My hope is that if you are in a stage of life where there is a dream that you have or something that you desire to accomplish, that you would move bravely, boldly, and courageously in the direction of that dream. You’re capable…and more importantly, you’re worthy of it!


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Copyright ©2019 Joezette Joseph. All Rights Reserved.

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