If you read yesterday’s post, “Jump Start Your Morning Right!”, you’ll know what I’m referring to when I say that I’m “eating my frog”. Yup, my blog post today is my frog. I awoke this morning, not really sure of what to write about. I usually write about topics that are put on my heart to share with others, but there wasn’t anything coming to me. I didn’t stress it though! I still woke up at 5:30…still began my quiet time…and then BAM–inspiration…
Ever just look up at the sky (or ceiling…whichever is readily available) and say, “Can I get a break?!” Welp, that was me yesterday–I had multiple doctor appointments in the city. Pulmonologist (lungs) first, gastroenterologist (digestive system) second, and kidney ultra sound last. Praise God, my pulmonologist had good news–other than the standard Lupus activity, my lungs were maintaining their health! They’d already suffered so much damage from tissue scarring so it was great to hear that they weren’t getting worse. I said to myself, Yes! Today’s appointments are going to be good…I can feel it!
I’d spoken too soon. I knew there had to be a problem causing my unbearable heart burn, but I was hopeful that it would resolve itself somehow. When I got to the gastroenterologist, he stuck this really uncomfortable tube up my nose and down my throat to check for acid reflux, confirmed that he could see it, then proceeded to schedule me for a quick test that would check for the contents of my stomach. He then asked if I’d had any CAT scans taken recently–I explained that there was one taken of my chest during my hospitalization that he should be able to review. He immediately pointed out the problem–my esophagus was extremely dilated and I needed an endoscopy. Apparently, doctors sedate you and go in to make necessary changes to your esophagus–in my case, they would tighten it. My heart sunk. Can I get a break?!
I then went for my kidney ultra sound, and while the technician confirmed that everything seemed to look good, he brings up a word that has never been brought up in any of my appointments–fibroid. My heart sunk again. Really? I was in a funk and having such a hard time removing myself from it. I didn’t necessarily feel defeated, but definitely overwhelmed and discouraged.
In spite of the news that I received yesterday, I woke up this morning feeling victorious! After reading my devotional, I was reminded that nothing stays the same or lasts forever–including these health issues that I am facing. Aspects of life are constantly changing, and whether the changes are good or bad, they are inevitable. I am resting in the reassurance that the only thing that does stay the same, remains consistent, and never changes, is God’s love for me and his handle over my life. I am starting today with a new attitude…moving forward with scheduling these procedures, faithful and confident that everything will be alright….and leaving the rest to God.
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