Leaving a Legacy…

After several years of not speaking to one another (for no particular reason), I was invited to my cousin’s daughter’s birthday party that took place yesterday. Naturally, I was a bit apprehensive because I hadn’t seen her or her children in years, but I decided to make it and support her and her family regardless of any discomfort that I anticipated. While there, I saw my older sister who I also haven’t spoken to in years (for particular reasons). As I walked into the apartment, I approached my aunt (my cousin’s mother) to greet her–the look on her face was one of confusion. She didn’t recognize me…it had been that long. Moments later, there was a knock at the door–the last guest had arrived, my uncle, who I also haven’t seen or spoken to in years. I respectfully got out of my seat to greet him, “Well, hello sir!” He glanced at me, “Hello,” and proceeded into the kitchen to greet my sister and mother. He also didn’t recognize me. My thoughts began to settle on the realization of how divided my family is…

As I continue to grow and consider starting a family of my own, I have also been thinking about the kind of upbringing and environment that I want to raise my future children in. It is clear to me that there are several generational curses that have been continued in my family–one being a curse of division. Mothers and daughters failing to communicate for years. Sisters severing relationships due to a lack of consideration, compassion, and communication. Brothers promoting seclusion to avoid confrontation. Is this what I want to pass down to my children? Is this what will happen to my family as we grow? The questions were flowing. What kind of seeds do I want to plant for them? How will I develop their character? How will I communicate with them when they are wrong and discipline to work towards remediation? How will my husband and I model a Godly relationship to show them an example of God’s intentions for companionship? What kind of legacy will I leave behind for my children?

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I resolve to break the curse of division within my generation and moving forward with my children. I will plant seeds of love–teaching them foundational skills of life that will take them far. I will teach them to be compassionate and respectful members of society who demonstrate and share the love of Christ with those around them. I will communicate and discipline in love rather than out of anger. I will remain faithful and love my husband as God intended. In resolving to do this, I pray that this curse of division is severed and that my family is reborn, more united than ever.

What kind of legacy will you leave for tomorrow based on your choices for today?


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42 thoughts on “Leaving a Legacy…”

  1. You are sending an important and useful message. My family is dysfunctional and some of us are estranged. It shouldn’t be that way. Good on you for deciding to break the cycle in your own family. Thanks for the follow on my blog. I’ll enjoy following yours.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Peggy (I hope that’s your name.lol) Recognition and then actively making the decision to bring about change are the first steps…now comes the hard work!! Thank you for taking the time to read! I look forward to reading your future posts as well! Take care<3

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  2. Thanks for following my blog and introducing me to yours!

    I’m sorry there is so much division in your family. My son, whom I was best friends with and raised alone, has been out of my life for over ten years. He and his wife call themselves Christian, but their behavior doesn’t match that IMO. So I know how painful estrangement can be.

    It’s great you are taking a stand against that way of life.

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    1. Hi Katelon! I’m so sorry to hear about your relationship with your son:( My mom always says “When you come and have your own children, you’ll understand.” I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for you. I will pray for reconciliation and for a feeling of conviction to come over your son and daughter-in-law, to reach out to you and mend things<3 10 years is a long time, but it's never too late. It may seen impossible and like a "lost cause" but nothing is impossible with God<3 I am going to keep praying and believing for my family as well! Thank you for reading and I look forward to reading your future posts!!:D

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  3. Joezette, thank you so much for finding me and following my blog for it brought me to yours. You sound like a wonderful person trying to make a decent life for yourself in this crazy city of ours! I commend your strength and can relate to the family issues. Mine has its share of division as well but I try to make the most of the relationships that haven’t been marred by ego, stubbornness or just plain nonsense. I appreciate your journey and look forward to reading what happens next! Cheers to you and many blessings 🙂

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    1. Hi Andrea! I’m glad I found you too! Thank you so much for your kind words, they’re deeply appreciated! I’m beginning to see that family issues are so common, but they shouldn’t be😔💔 I’m learning to do the same as you–focusing on the positive and healthy relationships that I have. I pray for God to heal the rest and choose to leave that to Him! I look forward to reading your future posts, thank you for reading and please keep in touch!! Bless💜

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  4. Joezette – this post was very interesting to me as I have no family … with the exception of an uncle and his family who have been estranged from my Mom/Dad (now deceased) for decades … so, I don’t consider him family, and, there will be no going back and repairing fences. My mom and her brother had a bad argument years ago, and I only saw my uncle at both my grandparents’ funerals and my grandmother’s 80th birthday. My mom and I tolerated him at those events and he was not cut from the same cloth as his mom, nor my mom either. In fact, to be cordial, I located his address and wrote to him of my mom’s passing, and he never acknowledged the letter. I have always been envious of people who are surrounded by family – these folks often complain about those family members, and they are often petty things, but, in essence, they are blessed. We all need kin to help lift us up when we are down. Thankfully, my next-door neighbor, has “adopted” me, treating me like family, but still … it is not the same. Thanks for this inspiring piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I can’t even imagine how challenging it is without family…however I would rather have negative/unsupportive family members out of my life than in…it’s just unhealthy. I’m so glad that you have an adopted family member in your neighbor! I’ve learned that it’s best to focus on the positive relationships that you have rather than the negative ones. Please keep in touch and thank you again for reading! I look forward to reading your future posts! ❤️

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      1. It is rough around the holidays Joezette … I work from home, so it is very quiet for me. I lost my beloved canary from a stroke a few weeks before Christmas 2016, and, though it was four months yesterday since his passing, his absence and my interaction with Buddy is still sorely missed. We are both on journeys … different types, but journeys nonetheless. I too look forward to reading your future posts.

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      2. I’m so sorry to hear about your canary–I know how hard it is to lose a pet❤️ I’m sure each of our journeys are preparing us for something great! Stay strong and positive Linda🤗

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      3. Yes Joezette, it was devastating to lose him … he was my family. I vowed when I lost my last canary there would be no more, but he passed away the same year as my mom, whom I was very close to (and lived with), and I felt a little lost, so got another canary shortly after. No more pets though … too painful. I like your attitude Joezette – we need to stay strong to get through this life and take everything day by day.

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      4. I can entirely relate with you! That is how I got my current pet. My cat of 14 years passed away in May 2016–I was devastated. I can understand why you wouldn’t want another one. Thank you for the compliment!! You are very pleasant as well! Those are the kinds of people I like to be surrounded by😌

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  5. This post really made me think. I was brought up in a family that is close. I think what kept us that way was my folks unwavering faith in God and a deep love for each other.
    I don’t think it was always easy but they were committed to be the best parents they could be and they set a great example of what marriage should look like.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Sometimes it only takes a look at our own relationships to see the differences and divides, this in turn makes us question how we will raise our children. Great post, I can definitely relate to this, and have had this question arise in my own mind when it comes to raising my daughter. 😊

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  7. Wow what a coincidence. I can most definitely relate to your feelings and emotions…I only embraced and recognised myself more, after having my own children. And indeed what I never had, is what I give my children and as you have identified this too, you will give to yours what you craved for the most…complete unconditional love. Great expression from within and I applaud you for your truth…it sets you free 🕊❤

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  8. Your post today really made me think. I’ve been lucky enough to have a family that, after years of drifting apart geographically, came back together naturally. I don’t know what magic my mother possessed to make us all settle down close to home, but I don’t take it for granted. She made an effort to talk to me and each of my sisters every week from the day we left home–whether we wanted to talk or not–and I think that knowing she was always there for us created an anchor in our sometimes chaotic lives. I don’t think our family would be as strong or as connected without her, but I don’t always notice or appreciate all the effort she puts in. Thanks for the reminder to never take family for granted!

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    1. The foundation that your mother set for your family is what I aspire to do when I start my own! That is such a blessing! I’m really glad to hear that my words resonated with you and that you are reminded to show appreciation. Thank you so much for reading❤️❤️❤️

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  9. kids and family don’t come with a book of instructions so you learn on the fly. you makes lots of mistakes with your first child but hopefully you don’t make the same mistakes with the second and subsequent kids.

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