Joezette's Journey: My Everyday Walk With Lupus

I think I’m going to start calling these weekly posts “Motivation Mondays”! It is so hard waking up on Monday mornings and I honestly see that I am finding solace in reflecting on my week at the start of a new one and just appreciating the blessings that I’ve received. This past week was a bit rough, but even in the midst of discomfort, I received multiple expressions of grace and memorable moments of happiness!

Lay-Off

I know you’re wondering how a lay-off can bring someone to smile. Well, let me tell you, there were definitely tears erupting throughout this conversation so don’t worry. Since my hospitalization, I have been reconsidering my hectic schedule and questioning whether or not the excessive work that I have been doing this school year is sustainable. One of the responsibilities that I’ve been battling with is my tutoring schedule. After chasing around 24 4th graders for 8 hours, traveling to Long Island and Queens to tutor 3 days per week was really taking a toll on my body. As much as I love these students that I’ve developed such amazing relationships with, I questioned if I could continue to commit to supporting them for the remainder of the school year. I’d been praying to God for clarity and was still having a difficult time arriving at an answer to this pressing question. But of course, God works in amazing ways! When I arrived at my student’s house on Tuesday, his mother sat me down and shared that due to some unexpected changes, we would have to take a break from tutoring for a while. Of course I was overwhelmed with emotion as I heard the words leave her lips. There were feelings of fear (I relied on this money to help support my lifestyle), sadness (I wouldn’t be seeing my student bi-weekly anymore and I was definitely going to miss him), and lastly, amazement. Yes…I said amazement. I’d just prayed for over a week for clarity and He’d just delivered it! I am a firm believer in the phrase, “everything works out the way it’s supposed to, according to His plan”, and I believe that this break, while inconvenient, is a means for me to really have the opportunity to focus on me. If I hadn’t been forced into this situation, I likely would have reverted back to placing my students as a priority over myself. While this proves to be a minor financial setback, I am confident that all of my needs will be met and that this is actually a blessing in disguise.

Hugs

Wednesday was an especially challenging day for me. I had multiple doctor appointments that required me to spend an endless amount of time reviewing my health since my discharge from the hospital. Adding to the experience were multiple pokes from nurses who struggled to find any suitable vein to draw blood from–they were bruised due to all of the poking that I’d endured the week before. After 4 hours and being on the verge of tears from frustration, I slowly walked to my car where Sean had been waiting for me, trying  my best to keep my composure. I just wanted to curl into the passenger seat and cry, but the warm welcome that I received from him was all I needed to just relax. He wasn’t irritated by the long wait, and even though he was starving, he showed great appreciation for the juice and graham crackers that I’d quickly grabbed for him to snack on while we drove home. It’s funny how a simple embrace can completely alter someone’s mood and make a gloomy situation sweet.

Flowers

My “get well soon” arrangement of flowers really pushed through for me this week! I was sure to nurture them as much as possible to prolong their lives and they continued to blossom beautifully! Each and every time I walked into my kitchen and laid eyes on them, my heart melted with joy. This is no exaggeration! The symbolism behind each bouquet was a silent message of how loved and appreciated I am by those in my life. This silent gesture meant so much to me and truly lifted my spirits. When was the last time that you took a moment to lend a silent gesture to someone you love? A well arranged and expensive bouquet of the finest roses or sunflowers is highly unnecessary…a single one can do the trick!

Visits from Friends

Having such a strong support system as I go through this transitional stage of my life has meant the world to me. I had several visits from friends this week that provided the opportunity to fellowship. When you live alone, solitude can become second nature. I love lounging on my couch for hours as “Say Yes to the Dress” plays on my television, sipping a hot cup of tea, and never feeling the need to utter a word. But I have to admit that sometimes I do get lonely. It felt so good having constant company this week–I didn’t miss the silence one bit!

Grooming

No, I don’t mean taking Cas to the groomers. Grooming myself! A visit to my barber and nail technician was all I needed to end my week. Over the past several weeks, I’ve failed to put any effort into making myself presentable. I’ve literally been walking around in sweatpants/leggings and oversized t-shirts (I am in no way proud of this). It felt sooooooo good getting a manicure and pedicure, a fresh haircut, and just feeling pretty. When there are so many things going on during the week, finding time to groom yourself can be extremely difficult! If you’re like me and it’s been a while since you visited the nail salon, got a haircut, did your brows…I encourage you to just make the time. I felt like a whole new woman when I was done! Snatched!

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If you know anyone suffering with Lupus and/or any other “Invisible Disease”, please feel free to share with them directly!

©joezettesjourney/Mar2017